you are the one for which reruns of our past episodes (the good, the bad and the ugly) replay in my mind every single minute of every single day

from a tender kiss on the forehead, to a warm embrace

from the depths of a hollowing of my heart when you glare at me after one of my missteps, spills, sneezes, and our misunderstandings, to the tears that cloud my vision when I feel like I have lost you as a lover

so many emotions

so much time

and they continue to take more time, occupying more time in a space where they’re not welcome

when I reminisce sometimes I smile or bite my lip but sometimes the memories cause my heart to race and the pain only stops when I grab a cigarette and breath

through all of the heart wrench and happiness

you showed me that I could be loved